Ralph: Me fail English? That’s unpossible.
Lionel Hutz: This is the greatest case of false advertising I’ve seen since I sued the movie “The Never Ending Story.”
Homer: Oh, so they have Internet on computers now!
Homer: I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman.
Homer: Bart, with $10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
Homer: Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
Homer: Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Principal Skinner: That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them.
Comic Book Guy: Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that’s a *really* useful invention!
Homer: Oh, I’m in no condition to drive. Wait a minute. I don’t have to listen to myself. I’m drunk.
Homer: I hope I didn’t brain my damage.
Homer: Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.
No comments:
Post a Comment